Wow. I haven't blogged in a long time. I don't know why I put it off, except that I am a procrastinator extraordinaire. A lot has been happening. Life has been happening. I've been really busy. You know the drill. But a lot of things have been calling me back to this practice lately. I say "a lot of things," but it is really one thing. One voice. The voice of the Holy Spirit. From deep inside where the Spirit listens but I don't talk and it speaks but I don't listen. Today I am listening and I am trying to use my words.
This morning Jerry and I were having a conversation about listening and using words on the short drive home from the gym. As I stated above, I'm not good at either, but I was really trying. I've been praying for God to help me be a more intentional listener, communicator and "be-er" as opposed to a "do-er." As we pulled into the garage and I turned off the ignition, I turned to him and said, "I'm here, I'm talking and I'm listening." Such a simple statement, but for me, a huge statement. I think it was what I needed to say and what he needed to hear. An answered prayer? Yes, but with God is it ever that simple?
I'm reading Brian McLaren's Finding Our Way Again: The Return of the Ancient Practices. It's very thought provoking and I'm just three chapters in. At the end of Chapter Two it poses this question: "If your relationship with God was a marriage, how would you describe things to a marriage counselor? What would a better, happier marriage look like?" I suppose I could take issue with the fact that they seem to assume my relationship needs to be better or happier, if it were not true. Unfortunately, I have to face my responsibility on both counts. I love my husband very much, but I am not a good, intentional communicator. I get antsy when the discussion is about something I can't fix or solve, or if I realize the dryer has stopped and I need to get the clothes out before they get wrinkled and...what were you saying? So what would I say would make a better, happier marriage, in reality as well as representative of my relationship with God? It is that I be a better listener, a committed listener, a focused, deliberate communicator. I have to show up, be present and listen attentively, ignoring all the stuff the world would put in the way. I'm here, I'm listening and I'm sharing my thoughts. In that order.
Thank you Holy Spirit for your never-ending inspiration and patience when I have the attention span of a gnat. Help me to stay tuned into your still small voice and control my impulse to drift in and out of awareness. Oh, and thank you for my sweet husband and I ask continued blessing on our relationship too. In Christ's Holy Name, amen.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Still searching for significance?
I've decided I want to try and pick my journaling back up during Lent this year, but why wait for March 9th to roll around?
Last night in our First Place 4 Health group, we were talking about the Psalms and some of the verses we enjoyed were the ones that remind us to "be still" or "wait," to just be in God's presence, to know his goodness and trust in his grace. We talked about how hard that must have been for the Psalmists, but perhaps even harder for us today. We live in a world accustomed to instant gratification and instant communication, and waiting is not high on our list of things to do. For instance, when we think of searching today, what pops into mind for many of us is an Internet search. Need to find or research something? Just "Google" it. Some people seem to think the Internet can answer any question or fulfill any search. But what if you have a need that you can't easily define or put a name to? What if you just know there is something missing? How do you search for something when you don't know what that something is?
We are created with a need for relationship with our creator. We have an innate desire to know where we came from and why we exist. What makes me, my life, significant? I can't imagine how someone would go about satisfying those needs if they have no knowledge of or belief in God. I think it would be incredibly sad to have no sense of significance greater than your own ego and the world around you could provide. What would life be like if we never asked a question deeper than the Internet could answer?
In my 20's and 30's I was in a Sunday School Class called "The Searchers." What were we searching for? For me it was significance as a Christians in my world. Significance as a spouse, parent, daughter, sister, friend, church member, but mostly, significance to the one who created me. All the roles we are given are important, but the most important relationship, the one that gives our entire life real, lasting meaning and significance is the relationship we have with our Creator. We don't get that by just knowing about him or even believing in him. We get that by loving him and being loved by him. We get that by trusting completely in his will for our life. We get that by surrendering all that we are and ever hope to be to his glory. We get that by allowing his grace to pour into us, washing our sins away and using us to channel his light, his love and his significance to a world searching for wholeness.
Help us, good and gracious God, when our hearts are restless and we search for significance through our own efforts, to remember to be still and wait for you to meet our every need through your abundant grace.
Favorite Psalms on waiting for God
Last night in our First Place 4 Health group, we were talking about the Psalms and some of the verses we enjoyed were the ones that remind us to "be still" or "wait," to just be in God's presence, to know his goodness and trust in his grace. We talked about how hard that must have been for the Psalmists, but perhaps even harder for us today. We live in a world accustomed to instant gratification and instant communication, and waiting is not high on our list of things to do. For instance, when we think of searching today, what pops into mind for many of us is an Internet search. Need to find or research something? Just "Google" it. Some people seem to think the Internet can answer any question or fulfill any search. But what if you have a need that you can't easily define or put a name to? What if you just know there is something missing? How do you search for something when you don't know what that something is?
We are created with a need for relationship with our creator. We have an innate desire to know where we came from and why we exist. What makes me, my life, significant? I can't imagine how someone would go about satisfying those needs if they have no knowledge of or belief in God. I think it would be incredibly sad to have no sense of significance greater than your own ego and the world around you could provide. What would life be like if we never asked a question deeper than the Internet could answer?
In my 20's and 30's I was in a Sunday School Class called "The Searchers." What were we searching for? For me it was significance as a Christians in my world. Significance as a spouse, parent, daughter, sister, friend, church member, but mostly, significance to the one who created me. All the roles we are given are important, but the most important relationship, the one that gives our entire life real, lasting meaning and significance is the relationship we have with our Creator. We don't get that by just knowing about him or even believing in him. We get that by loving him and being loved by him. We get that by trusting completely in his will for our life. We get that by surrendering all that we are and ever hope to be to his glory. We get that by allowing his grace to pour into us, washing our sins away and using us to channel his light, his love and his significance to a world searching for wholeness.
Help us, good and gracious God, when our hearts are restless and we search for significance through our own efforts, to remember to be still and wait for you to meet our every need through your abundant grace.
Favorite Psalms on waiting for God
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)