Where do I look for nourishment?

We were planning to go to our son Jeremy's to pick him up and help him get a futon for his apartment last night. It was after work and we hadn't had supper yet so as we were leaving Jerry called him. He asked if he'd eaten yet and he hadn't so Jerry asked if any restaurants near his apartment served "healthy food." Silence. Jerry joked, "Are you silent because you don't know if anyone serves healthy food, or because you don't know what healthy food is?" Jeremy replied, "Well, I don't know what you consider healthy food."

That makes sense. One person's healthy food might mean nothing but vegetables. However, to someone else, it might mean anything that's not fried. This could also apply to spiritual food. Just as everyone has to figure out what foods nourish their body, making them strong and healthy, so we also have to learn what we need to nourish our spirit. Can't you just see a store with aisles of spiritual food? There would be lots of brands--every religion and belief: Baptist, Catholic, Buddhist, or Islamic, as well as Wicca, Pantheist or even Atheist (which might be more suitable for a starvation or elimination diet). There would be sections in the store, but instead of produce, dairy or meat, there would be: contemplation and study; prayer and meditation; or praise, chanting and spells. There would be kiosks where you could choose self-service or serving others, grace and mercy or power and dominion. I can't even imagine all the choices. If you didn't have some idea of what you were looking for, you could really make some bad selections. It would be like going to the grocery store hungry. It's easy to bypass the fruits and vegetables and go straight for the chips and donuts. Those things that taste so good when you eat them, but loaded with empty calories and no nutritional value, they leave you hungry and unsatisfied.

I'm fortunate that I was raised on good, nourishing spiritual food. Imagine how difficult it would be for someone who has no "spiritual roots," or worse, has had a bad experience. Where would they start? Jeremy made the comment that some people on diets are obsessed with food and can't just relax and enjoy a meal. Maybe they are like the Christians who get so caught up in doing everything right that they forget Jesus is all about love and grace. It comes down to finding a balance in your physical life and in your spiritual life.

The First Place 4 Health (FP4H) group we are in is all about balance. Being mindful about what we eat, but not to the point of deprivation. We try to balance what we eat with our activity level. FP4H is also about finding balance in our spiritual lives. Putting God first, others second and ourselves third, we learn how to better nourish our bodies and our spirits. We satisfy our appetites and our hearts with healthy food, we stay active with exercise, Bible study and prayer, and we encourage each other along the way. Oh, and we don't go to the store hungry!

Cultivating Patience

I am not a patient person. Don't believe me? Just ask my husband. Oh, I can be patient, but believe me it's not my nature. Like fine wine, I have mellowed with age in some areas, but those are mostly the areas where I am not tried so much as I once was. I used to pray for patience like it was a gift God would bestow on me if I were sincere and penitent enough. Pr. Phil burst that bubble for me in a church council meeting one day. He explained that patience wasn't just a thing we could be given, it had to be cultivated. So now I pray for the strength to cultivate patience. It's okay to pray for strength, right?

Pr. Phil's blog today is on Psalm 27. (www.livingthelectionary.blogspot.com) That Psalm could have been written for the impatient person like me, especially the last verse: "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" I can't help but think about our two dogs, Fred (black lab) and Barney (brittany spaniel) when I read that verse. We haven't done much training with them, but one thing we taught them as puppies was to sit and stay. When we feed them, we make them sit and stay, sometimes walking out of their sight for a moment or two. When we return, there they are waiting for us. Of course, they know they're about to be fed, so they have good incentive to be patient. But the Psalmist had no such incentive; he was under attack.

Growing up, I thought my Dad must have been the most patient person on earth. And believe me, my brothers and I gave him ample opportunities to be impatient, but I never saw him lose control of his temper. Then, one day when my girls were little, I told him I regretted not inheriting his patience. Boy did he get a good laugh out of that! "Are you kidding me?" he said. He explained that he was one of the least patient people he knew. (I did know from personal experience that he wasn't patient behind the wheel of a car.) I asked him how he managed to keep his cool. He said he had to pray every day for strength (obviously I should have paid more attention here). He studied the Book of Job and he prayed he would have the humility and faith that Job had. I remembered his favorite term in admiration of tolerant people was they had "the patience of Job." Learning this about my Dad, whom I loved and respected so much, gave me hope. Hope that, while I carried his gene for impatience, I also carried his gene for stubbornly refusing to let that be what defined me. More importantly, I inherited my father's faith that made it possible.

I don't imagine my daughters harbor any misconceptions about my true nature, though I like to think they also appreciate all my finer, cultivated qualities. But I hope and pray that they also know the power they have been given by God to be defined by his grace, not by their human nature. To claim and be claimed by Christ, and to cultivate the gifts of the Spirit within them. To wait patiently on the Lord, with courage and strength, especially when they feel like they're under attack.

It's Like Pay it Forward, only Better

I read a devotional today about giving and receiving gifts. I didn't see a connection to anything else I've read today until I really thought about it. This morning's FP4H study was about using my words to encourage and lift others up. That is giving a gift. Then I read a devotional about not allowing bitterness over the past prevent me from bringing joy to someone else (Job 1:21). Again, giving a gift. Then I read another one about not neglecting to use the gifts that God has given to me (1 Timothy 4:14) because large or small, I have been given gifts to share that can only come from me. And finally, I have been trying to come up with an original and personal gift for a friend. I decided I would write a poem but as soon as I started forming the thoughts in my head, it turned into a blessing. A gift from the Holy Spirit, through me.

What then, do I have to give? I can give my time, I can give my effort, my money, my talent, even my prayers, but if I do not give it without my ego being involved, I am wasting my time (1 Corinthians 13). If I am going to give of myself, even if the gift comes from my heart, but then wait expectantly for recognition or a positive reaction, who am I doing it for?

The most important gift I have to give is my obedience. Those who have been on a Via de Cristo weekend know the "Holy Spirit Prayer:"

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in us the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and we shall be created, and you shall renew the face of the earth. O God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit instructs the hearts of the faithful, grant that by that same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever rejoice in his consolations. I pray that all my intentions, actions and works of this day may be directed solely to the greater glory of God's divine majesty. May the grace of God dwell always in me.

If I am the Child of God that I profess to be, then I will give of myself out of devotion to him. I will willingly be his hands, his feet, his presence in the world. I will do the work, whatever and wherever it presents itself. I will serve my Lord by serving others. I will take third place. Will I always do a perfect job? Not likely. Will I always enjoy the work? Probably not. But it's about my obedience to Christ and my willingness to go where the Holy Spirit leads me. That is the sacrifice that I can bring, and the gift I can always give. Because I have already received more than I can ever fathom.

Lord help me, every day, to receive the gift of your sacrifice anew. To unwrap it even as I unwrap myself, letting the worldly wrapping of selfish ego fall to the ground, and stepping forth as a new creation ready to do your will and share your gifts. Amen.

Will the real Jesus stand up?

I am a Sunday School Shepherd for the 3rd graders at Calvary. That means I herd them around and try to watch and keep them out of trouble. Not always an easy task I must admit. At the beginning of each "unit" I teach the class and today was the day to introduce the story of the prodigal son. I wasn't worried about the story, but when I discovered we would be in the "drama" classroom, I was not very optimistic about the outcome. The drama room isn't your average class room. There are no table and chairs, there's a stage with a curtain and carpet for the kids to sit on. And there are all sorts of interesting props and costumes to fuel active minds and imaginations. So I carefully planned what I hoped would keep their attention long enough for me to get the message across. And, much to my amazement, it worked! Let me just say that no CEO who just had a successful and inspiring executive board meeting could have been anymore stoked than I was at having not only kept the atttention of six 8-yr-olds, but also had them actively engaged for over thirty minutes. Thank you Lord, for your Word, and thank you Holy Spirit for your inspiration.

I wish I could claim to be as attentive as my 8-yr olds at this morning's 11:00 service. Pr. Phil tied all the day's scripture readings together. He connected each of the temptations Christ overcame as told in Luke 4:1-13, one each, to the other three texts: Deuteronomy 26:1-11, Psalm 91, and Romans 10:5-15. I have to admit it was all sort of bouncing off of me a bit until he got to the Psalm. Not that the lesson was not a good one, it was. But I have had a few prayer requests this week that have been weighing heavy on my heart. So, when Pr. Phil began talking about suffering, it got my attention. Psalm 91 is all about the terrible things that we might face in life, but the Psalmist reminds us that God will bear us through whatever afflicts us. He will always be with us, and if we are faithful his love will sustain us. All of this sounded good, even comforting. But as I sat and wondered if I could carry a message from this to those facing tragic circumstances right now, I wasn't sure. Then I heard Phil say, "Remember you're not Jesus."

I've always been able to depend on Christ to lead me through the tough times in my life, and I think I'm pretty strong in my faith. But I have never had to face that searing despair that comes with losing a spouse or a child. Something that, like a arrow coming out of nowhere, slams into your life and rips your world to pieces. That heart-stopping feeling when the doctor say there's just nothing more we can do and you have to accept that life as you know it, the future you had planned, has slipped through your fingers despite all your prayers and pleading with God. That's when I looked into my heart and knew that I was as weak as anyone could ever be. No, I will never forget that I am not Jesus. Thank God I am not Jesus. Thank God that he is. Thank God that he knows our worst pain and despair. Thank God for his amazing grace and his promise to raise us up on eagle's wings, bear us on the breath of dawn, make us to shine like the sun, and hold us in the palm of his hand. Because we're not Jesus, but he has claimed us and we belong to him, and that is enough.

If I only had the right words

Our FP4H Bible study is on giving control of our lives to God, and this week's focus is surrendering our words. We had a short survey as part of today's exercise in which we had to rate ourselves on our communication skills. While I rated myself a little better (good in general but needs some work) than Jerry rated himself (could use some work in this area), we both agreed that one of my biggest weaknesses is that I don't always speak up when I should. I can think back to a lot of times when I might have saved myself or someone else a lot of trouble-even heartache-if I had just opened my mouth and "used my words." My daughter Melissa uses this phrase to encourage 20-mo-old Rebekah to communicate without whining and frustration. It's amazing how effectively a toddler can communicate when given patient encouragement.

Our Bible study focuses a lot on what the Book of James says about words. James compares the tongue to the small rudder steering a large ship, or bit in a horse's mouth that controls his movements. Words have great power. They have the power to do great good or great harm. One wrong word at the wrong time can ignite flames of hatred and resentment, while the right word at the right time can spark a fire of productivity and positive action. That's a lot of power to wield. I suppose that's why I haven't spoken up at times. I overthink the situation. I want to say something, but what if I'm wrong? What if I use the wrong tone? What if I'm jumping to the wrong conclusion? Better to play it safe and not say anything. Wait and see how things develop. It'll all blow over and I won't have embarrassed myself by being wrong. Call it what you will: excuses, cop-outs, it sounds like whining and frustration to God.

Chapter 3:15-16 of Revelations says, "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." When I am moved by the Spirit but choose not to take action, I am a lukewarm Christian. Essentially, I am not trusting God to be my rudder, steering me in the right direction. I doubt myself and I doubt my faith, hindering God's ability to work through me. The first book of James says, "he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." That is not who I want to be. I want to be strong and stable in my faith, and effective and useful to God.

Lord, I don't want to be a wishy-washy Christian, afraid to speak the truth in love. If my faith, which comes from you, is rooted in you, then your Spirit will guide me. You sent your Son Jesus to be a lamp to my feet and a light for my path and I know he resides here in my heart. Help me to listen and to speak confidently when his voice whispers to me, "use MY words." Amen.

In the beginning there is reflection

Lent is a dark and somber time for many. I agree, it's a time for quiet reflection and serious consideration of where we stand according to God's perfect will. But it is also like cleaning that area of your house that catches all the overflow. It's cluttered and crammed with lots of stuff, some useful some not, and a lot of stuff you'd be better off without. You put it off month after month (maybe even year after year), but eventually you need to reclaim that space and make it useful again. My spiritual life is full, but it's full of stuff too, some useful some not. I don't know that I'd be better off without any of it, but I want to be closer to Jesus and there're too many distractions in the way. So my goal during Lent is to spend time reading scripture and then reflecting on what I think God is saying to me. I'm using this blog as my medium because I tend to focus better when I'm writing on the computer. There. That's it. So, where do I go from here? God only knows, but I am open to his leading me and I welcome anyone else who wants to join this journey.

To start off, a couple of scripture readings have come to mind when I think about reflection.

James 1:22-25:
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

and last week's memory verse from First Place for Health (FP4H), Romans 12:13:
Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, rather think of yourself with sober judgement according to the the measure of faith God has given to you.

I don't want to look at God's Word and forget what it says as soon as I walk away. More importantly, I don't want to read it and never grasp what God is saying to me in the first place. He has given me this "perfect law that gives freedom," and this "measure of faith" with which to interpret how this perfect law applies to me. If I don't do anything with it, if I don't look deep inside myself and see my Lord looking back at me, I am empty and I am useless. I want to measure up to the faith God has given me by studying his Word and holding it in my heart. I want to sing his song even if it makes me weep. I want to move my feet to the drumbeat of his grace even as he climbs the hill to Golgotha. I want to be there, to look into his eyes and to feel his pain.

This is foolishness to unbelievers. Why would we choose to suffer a broken heart? Why do we open oursleves willingly to pain and anguish? Because we need to look in the mirror and see our true sinful nature. Because we need to accept that Jesus willingly paid that price for us. Because on our own, we can never be worthy of that sacrifice. Because that's how we clean house, reclaim the dusty spaces of our heart and make it useful again. Because Jesus can only dwell in a broken heart.