Our FP4H Bible study is on giving control of our lives to God, and this week's focus is surrendering our words. We had a short survey as part of today's exercise in which we had to rate ourselves on our communication skills. While I rated myself a little better (good in general but needs some work) than Jerry rated himself (could use some work in this area), we both agreed that one of my biggest weaknesses is that I don't always speak up when I should. I can think back to a lot of times when I might have saved myself or someone else a lot of trouble-even heartache-if I had just opened my mouth and "used my words." My daughter Melissa uses this phrase to encourage 20-mo-old Rebekah to communicate without whining and frustration. It's amazing how effectively a toddler can communicate when given patient encouragement.
Our Bible study focuses a lot on what the Book of James says about words. James compares the tongue to the small rudder steering a large ship, or bit in a horse's mouth that controls his movements. Words have great power. They have the power to do great good or great harm. One wrong word at the wrong time can ignite flames of hatred and resentment, while the right word at the right time can spark a fire of productivity and positive action. That's a lot of power to wield. I suppose that's why I haven't spoken up at times. I overthink the situation. I want to say something, but what if I'm wrong? What if I use the wrong tone? What if I'm jumping to the wrong conclusion? Better to play it safe and not say anything. Wait and see how things develop. It'll all blow over and I won't have embarrassed myself by being wrong. Call it what you will: excuses, cop-outs, it sounds like whining and frustration to God.
Chapter 3:15-16 of Revelations says, "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." When I am moved by the Spirit but choose not to take action, I am a lukewarm Christian. Essentially, I am not trusting God to be my rudder, steering me in the right direction. I doubt myself and I doubt my faith, hindering God's ability to work through me. The first book of James says, "he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." That is not who I want to be. I want to be strong and stable in my faith, and effective and useful to God.
Lord, I don't want to be a wishy-washy Christian, afraid to speak the truth in love. If my faith, which comes from you, is rooted in you, then your Spirit will guide me. You sent your Son Jesus to be a lamp to my feet and a light for my path and I know he resides here in my heart. Help me to listen and to speak confidently when his voice whispers to me, "use MY words." Amen.
I was touched to read what you thought about "use your words." I actually began doing that because of my prayers for patience and my tendency to channel your mothering techniques. I remember from my childhood that you would cringe when kids whined and grit your teeth with a stiff hand held out. I could see in you that you were searching for patience and strength to tolerate us. I feel myself do the exact same thing now that I am "Mama." I feel incredibly guilty and disappointed with myself when I respond to whining with intolerance... so I pray, as you taught me, for patience. It came to me in the form of words. I still cringe... but I tell myself that she only whines because she is trying to tell me something and she doesn't know what else to do with her frustration when it is clear to her that I am not "getting" it... whatever "it" may be. So, although I still cringe, I take a breath and look her directly in the eyes and calmly tell her to tell me or show me what she wants... "use your words." I am like you in that I don't practice what I preach. I tell my child to communicate even when she's upset; yet I shut down and say nothing when I feel that way. I don't whine... but I do become passively aggressive. I am praying about that right now. My biggest challenge is to have the confidence to trust others with the truth, as I feel it... right or wrong. I need to say what I feel and think in order to not be "double-minded" in my faith. When Rebekah uses her words... it all works out great and everyone feels content; I will pray that you and I learn to listen and speak to God as well as she does to us.
ReplyDelete