Waiting on God, Part 1- at the Airport

My last post was about an amazing, emotion-filled weekend at Via de Cristo, where I was a Food Cha and was running around "doing" the whole time. Well, this weekend was another amazing and emotion-filled weekend, but this time it was spent mostly at Children's Hospital in Birmingham, Alabama, where I could only sit with family and friends, waiting and praying and "being." Doctors had discovered Tuesday afternoon (8/17/10) that our 10 year old grandson Hunter had a large mass at the base of his brain and Angie (our daughter) called Wednesday morning to say they were prepping him for surgery. We thought they were going to do the surgery later in the week, so I began scrambling to get a plane ticket on the earliest flight I thought I could make. Jerry would drive out with our other daughter, Melissa, on Thursday.

I couldn't believe my grandson was going into surgery on his brain and I wasn't there to see him and tell him how much I love him. I told Angie, "Tell him I'll be there when he wakes up." We were told the surgery would take between 5 and 7 hours. I hastily packed a bag and called a friend who graciously agreed to get me to the airport. I was so nervous and anxious, it was an enormous relief not to have to drive too! We got to Love Field in Dallas, but my heart sank when I saw the baggage check lines. Why hadn't I just packed a carry-on and let Jerry bring the rest of my things? Too late to worry about that now. I was here, and if I was meant to be on that plane God would make it happen. So I waited and I prayed. I wanted to be on that plane with every fiber of my being, but as the minutes passed I knew it wasn't going to happen. But I kept praying. "Lord, I know you can make it happen. I know the flight can be delayed. I trust you. If I'm meant to be on that plane, it will be there when I get through the security check." Oh yeah, and I cried. Especially when I got a text from Angie, "Hunter told the nurse he wishes you were here." Biting my lip until it was sore, big, helpless, silent tears slid down my face. "I trust you Jesus, I put all my faith in you. Please get me on that plane. Please be with Hunter and his Mom and Dad. It's in your hands Lord, it's in your hands. Lord I want to be on that plane." Finally I was through the line, "Where is Gate 8?" To the right, but it's too far. I'm nervously and as quickly as possible, making my way through the airport crowd. "I trust you Jesus." I see it. I also see that nobody is at the desk and only a couple of people are sitting in the section. The plane, I look for the plane. It's not there. I'm trying to hold it together and I look around for someone to confirm what I already know. I missed the plane. I asked the desk attendant at Gate 9. Yes, it left about 15 minutes ago. I'm still trying to hold it together as I turn to walk away, "Okay Lord, I'm here and now I really need your help. I have to get on a plane." The attendant says "There will be someone back at Gate 8 soon because they have another flight leaving. Where did you say you were going?" I turned back, swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "I have to get to Birmingham, when is the next flight?" I'm sure I looked as desperate and upset as I felt. She looked up the flight, "There's another flight leaving from Gate 8 at 1:30." Two and half hours! How was I going to sit there for that long, knowing Hunter would be in surgery and I wasn't there with Angie and Tommy. "But it's a non-stop so it will land at 3:10." My other flight had had a connection and wasn't due to land until 2:45. "Can you get me on that flight?" She checked, yes there were seats available. "I can't but as soon as the attendant comes back to Gate 8 they should be able to transfer your ticket for you."

Two and a half hours to wait. What would I do for two hours? Plenty. I prayed, asking Christ for peace to wait and breath and be. I texted Angie, I wrote in my journal, I checked and updated my FB, I sent out an email update on Hunter to my prayer warrior friends, I read some of my book, and I took care of some personal business on my smart phone, thinking to myself, "Maybe over the next few days I'll learn how to use this thing a little better." As I sat there, just as I have so many times in my life, I thought about God's grace and his plans for me. "Okay God, I know I have been running like crazy for the last few hours. I get it now. You want me to stop running and turn to you, to give you my undivided attention, to stop doing and just be in your presence. Here I am, Lord. Send me, don't send me. Whatever you do with me, hold me close, and keep Hunter and all of us who love him in your arms. I trust you Jesus."